GUEST POST: Stratoblogster – Fender not stopping at Road Worn Series (Parody)

In a last minute scramble to add just one more price point in time for Winter NAMM ’09 in Anaheim, Fender has decided to follow its new MIM Road Worn Series with a Squier Relic treatment.

This newest Squier RUG BURN Series will incorporate the ever popular aging & distressing features into the Indonesian produced Squier line of guitars & basses, to be priced at a mid point between the standard Squier line and the Standard Baja manufactured products.

According to a company spokesperson, “We have a 10-15 age demographic just ready to make the jump from game controllers to a product with the appearance of something a great grandparent might have owned. It’s important to keep that heritage going, and at $329 we feel the RUG BURN Series is gonna fit right into that Xbox 360 niche. Creating another price point was only a minor consideration– as our priority is simply to service the needs of our public in the best way possible.”

Each RUG BURN Series instrument begins as a standard finished Squier model, which is then placed into “the tumbler”; a large rotating drum– similar to a concrete mixer, which is lined with Dupont Stainmaster berber style carpeting. During the tumbling process thousands of walnuts are introduced along with dried mustard for age tinting. After leaving the tumbler, the guitar is then “dusted” off with high pressure air & Kool Menthol unfiltered tobacco jets, after which the strings are finally added. Then each Rug Burn Series model is prepared for shipping in its own Dupont Stainmaster berber style carpet lined gig bag along with a Dupont Stainmaster berber style carpet strap.

Both the gig bag and strap are designed to help maintain the freshness of your RUG BURN Series instrument’s finish for many years to come.

Watch for the RUG BURN Series! And remember, it’s not a Squier Rug Burn unless it has the, “RUG BURN Series” sticker on the pickguard. So take one for test tumble soon at your nearest Fender dealer and you might just walk out with a Rug Burn of your very own!

(parody)

This is a guest post by JP from Stratoblogster – a very cool site with lots of great content, Stratty and otherwise. Go check it out! Here are some stories to get you started.

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