So now that Guitar Hero has been cancelled as an active franchise, what is Activision going to do next? Reports say they’re going to shut down their video game division, but wait, not so fast! I Heart Guitar to the rescue! Here are some game ideas to keep the division alive.
The logical spin-off of Guitar Hero, players must try to restring a virtual Floyd Rose while fans spit beer at them. They must also use gaffer tape to hold a vintage Marshall together that the artist insists on using live even though it smells like cat pee and instantly cooks anything placed on top of it.
Guitar Hero Hero
The player must operate a plastic version of a human playing Guitar Hero. There are five buttons: left leg, right leg, left arm, right arm, and head. Coordinate all four limbs and the required headbanging action to make your onscreen avatar look like they’re playing Guitar Hero.
Groupie Sex Hero
You do NOT want to see the peripherals for this one.
Guitar Blog Hero
Deflect spam comments in WordPress while trying to find the time to fit blogging in around a 9-to-5 job and a family. Try to get your Van Halen news story onto StumbleUpon, Digg, Twitter and Facebook before everyone else. Try to figure out what the fuck Technorati does.
We all know that the only reason anyone ever played Guitar Hero was to throw mad rockstar shapes in front of the mirror. Let’s eliminate the middle man. Shape-Throw Hero involves a guitar-shaped apparatus and a motion sensor camera which measures the rockworthiness of your stage poses and assigns a score based on how badass you look. It even comes with a BlueTooth cigarette for Izzy Stradlin/Keith Richards/Eddie Van Halen poses.