Five Song Titles That Must Be Retired

It’s hard enough to write an original song. Even if you think you’ve hit upon the most unique idea ever, chances are it’s something the Beatles already wrote. Or Frank Zappa. But titling your song is different, because they’re easily searchable and easily changable. You can’t really play your entire song into an iPhone app and have it tell you your song sounds a little too much like “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?” or “Hey Bulldog,” but you can certainly do a quick Google or iTunes search to see whether someone’s already recorded a song called “My Uncle Used to Love Me, but She Died” or “You Stuck My Heart in an Old Tin Can and Shot It off a Log” (I’ll save you the trouble: they have). Some titles though are really, really overused. Here are the five that, well, bug me the most.

5. Sacred Ground
Richie Kotzen, Queensryche, Living Colour, Craig Chaquico,

4. Judgement Day
Van Halen, Whitesnake, Jorn Lande/Russell Allen, Eric Clapton, Hoodoo Gurus, Dokken, Dying Fetus, Snowy White

3. Promised Land
Queensryche, Robert Plant, Chuck Berry, W.A.S.P, Samael, The Band, Big Country, Bruce Springsteen

2. Home
Dream Theater, Joe Satriani, Warrant, Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Sevendust, Foo Fighters, Daughtry, Jack Johnson, Ben Lee, Xavier Rudd, David Byrne, She & Him, Goo Goo Dools, Roger Waters

1. Time
Bumblefoot, David Bowie, Joe Satriani, Ozzy Osbourne, Pink Floyd, Vernon Reid, Gyroscope, Creed, Hootie & The Bow Fish, Supergrass, The Alan Parsons Project, Blink 182, Blind Melon, Chris Cornell, Anthrax/Joe Jackson, Cat Stevens

Honourable mention
Velvet Revolver for having the balls to write a song called “Loving The Alien” even though David Bowie beat them to it 19 years earlier.

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