Rock-Paper-Scissors for guitarists

We’ve all played rock-paper-scissors, right? We all know paper covers rock, rock smashes scissors and scissors cut paper (although if rock was more of a type A personality it’d know it could hold the paper down, paperweight-style, and be eternally victorious). But dude, we’re guitarists. Rock-paper-scissors may be fine for origamists, geologists and seamstresses, but it’s not for we rockers. We need our own variant. Well, in that spirit… you’re welcome. All you need is a Boss Metal Zone, an Ibanez Tube Screamer and a Jim Dunlop Fuzz Face. Or at least, the ability to say the names of them.

Fuzz Face beats Metal Zone (fuller bodied tone, more mojo, looks like a robot’s severed head)

Metal Zone beats Tube Screamer (More gain, more EQ control, and your audience will buy more beer than the Tube Screamer guy’s audience will buy whisky)

Tube Screamer beats Fuzz Face (More versatile, cool Ghostbusters green, name sounds like a euphamism for having sex on the London Underground)

See if you can come up with your own!