Worst guitar book ever

I like to collect guitar books. There are lots of great ones out there. Aspen Pittman’s The Tube Amp Book. The Book of Orange. The Stompbox: A History of Guitar Fuzzes, Flangers, Phasers, Echoes and Wahs by Art Thompson. All are packed with accurate information, historical tidbits, rare documentation and beautiful photos.

Then there’s this.

Collectables: Guitars. I found this little beauty at a discount bookstore the other day. And boy am I glad I did, because there’s absolutely nothing else like it in my library. Why? Well, with apologies in advance to the author, let’s just say a little bit of proofreading goes a long, long way. Maybe the following misprints explain why the book was only five bucks at a discount bookstore.

The first few pages are pretty inoffensive. Some catalog shots of various guitars, a few basic specs, the names of a couple of artists who play them. Y’know, it’s the kind of book that someone who doesn’t know anything about guitar might buy a guitarist for Secret Santa at work.

Then I saw this:

Hmm… A Gretsch used for jazz? It could happen, I guess. Some of those rockabilly guys get pretty jazzy. But at least they’ve included rockabilly on the list too, right?

Oh.

Next up we have the Takamine TNV460SC. This company was founded in 1962, and they were one of the first to introduce acoustic-electric models in 1978. Which means this particular TNV460SC must be a very rare and very early prototype – after all, the book says it’s from 1955.

Now, when you think ‘Gibson SG,’ who comes to mind? I can think of someone. Hint: Schoolboy uniform. Yeah, that’s right. Angus Young is so very closely identified with the SG that even the great Tony Iommi comes second in most peoples’ minds as a classic SG player. But Angus is nowhere to be found on this page. Jimi Hendrix is though. And yeah, he did play an SG occasionally, but does he deserve to be here instead of Angus? Huh? Huh?

Still, that little oversight is okay because I’m sure they’ll mention Jimi on the page about the Stratocaster too, right?

WHAT!?! Did they seriously put a Telecaster on the Stratocaster page?!?

Just.. just… argh! The mind, it boggles! I don’t even… I can’t even… I mean… ugh!

There’s only one thing that could take my mind off this abject horror: a lovely PRS Standard 24. This classic guitar was introduced in 1987, and it gets its name from its 24 frets. Except this Standard 24. This Standard 24 is a rare 22-fret model made in 1955.

It seems 1955 was a golden year for the guitar. Because that’s when Yamaha introduced the Pacifica, right?

The best is saved for last though. Y’know the Steinberger headless bass? That icon of minimalist design so beloved by technology-friendly new wave players and the like. Players such as…

LEMMY KILMISTER?

LEMMY &#^@ING  KILMISTER? 

Oh COME ON.