Neutrino discovery could prove existence of Yngwie Malmsteen

The interwebz is buzzing today with news that CERN may – may – have detected neutrinos travelling at 60 nanoseconds faster than the speed of light. There’s still a lot of testing to be done to verify if this is a real result or if there was some kind of measurement error, but if true it has huge implications for the guitar world. Simply put, it would prove the existence of Yngwie Malmsteen, who to date has only been theorised as being a real three-dimensional object and not some kind of quantum hologram distorted via gravitational lensing and reflected off swamp gas.