JB Hi Fi tells it like it is on Loutallica

Do you follow Beat Magazine on Facebook or Twitter? Beat’s a kickass Melbourne street press mag that I’m proud to write for. You may have seen my interview with Scissor Sisters guitarist Del Marquis recently. Anyway, today Beat posted the pic below on their Facebook, snapped at a JB HiFi store.


Aaaahahahaa.

Thanks to Peta Pledger for the heads-up!

James Hetfield is not a table

If you’re like me, you’re probably confused – really confused – by “The View,” the new song by Metallica and Lou Reed, which I ranted about yesterday.

One of the most confusing things for me is Hetfield’s claim during the song that he is a table. You can hear this bizarre assertion towards the end of the song.

Now, I have seen James Hetfield on multiple occasions from multiple perspectives and distances, and I can assure you, he is not a table.

See this?

This is James Hetfield. Note: two legs.

See this?

It is an Ikea table. Five legs. Note that it does not shout out “I am a person! I am a person!”

This is an Ikea table too.

It only has one leg, but it’s still a table. Tables generally require at least one leg, usually three or four (more if it’s very large), but never two.I don’t know of any tables that have only two legs.

Now, see if you can spot which one of these is not a table. You may refer back to the images above if you need to. Note: I’ve included another table in this image just to see if you’re on your toes.

So. James Heftield. Not table. Have we got that settled? Good. As you were.

Metallica, you’re on notice

Okay, I’ve had enough. Metallica, you’re on notice.

Have you guys heard the Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration? A full song, “The View,” has made it online. And it’s awful.

I’m a Metallica fan. I like Lou Reed. Even saw him live once and it was a great gig. I was looking forward to Lulu. But this song is simply not good enough, and while it’s not fair to judge an entire album on one song, if this is in any way indicative of how the album is mixed it’ll be yet another PR disaster.

Let’s have a look at the last 20 years of Metallica.

Read More …

First Metallica/Lou Reed clip

Okay, so here’s the first Metallica/Lou Reed clip, from their forthcoming album Lulu.

I know it’s not fair to judge an album on one small clip, but so far this …this ain’t grabbing me. I’m a huge Metallica fan and I rather dig Lou Reed (saw him live about 10 years ago and it was awesome) but if that’s the feel and the mix, this will go down as an interesting curio in the Metallica and Lou Reed discographies rather than the essential deviation I’d hoped for. But we’ll see.

By the way, Lulu and the new Megadeth album Th1rt3en come out on the same day. Interesting.

More info at Blabbermouth.net.